The Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing 2004

3.833 /10

An all-female version of the Van Helsing tale reconfigures the vampire story as an erotic fantasy. The great, great granddaughter of Van Helsing seeks to slay the sexy Countess Dracula. She may have to pretend to be her devoted love slave to get closer to the bloodthirsty demon.

Release Dates

CountryRelease TypeRelease Date

Van Helsing

Philomenia

Maiden #2

Director:

Max Von Diesel

Writer:

John Bacchus

Release Dates:

2004-10-27

Runtime

72 min

Related Movies To

Skyfall: Quantum of Spectre

Write Review

Found 56 reviews in total

Best Marvel movie in my opinion

17 December 2016 by hawaiipierson

This is by far one of my favorite movies from the MCU. The introduction of new Characters both good and bad also makes the movie more exciting. giving the characters more of a back story can also help audiences relate more to different characters better, and it connects a bond between the audience and actors or characters. Having seen the movie three times does not bother me here as it is as thrilling and exciting every time I am watching it. In other words, the movie is by far better than previous movies (and I do love everything Marvel), the plotting is splendid (they really do out do themselves in each film, there are no problems watching it more than once.

Just about as good as the first one!

17 December 2016 by hawaiipierson

Avengers Age of Ultron is an excellent sequel and a worthy MCU title! There are a lot of good and one thing that feels off in my opinion.

THE GOOD:

First off the action in this movie is amazing, to buildings crumbling, to evil blue eyed robots tearing stuff up, this movie has the action perfectly handled. And with that action comes visuals. The visuals are really good, even though you can see clearly where they are through the movie, but that doesn't detract from the experience. While all the CGI glory is taking place, there are lovable characters that are in the mix. First off the original characters, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk, Black Widow, and Hawkeye, are just as brilliant as they are always. And Joss Whedon fixed my main problem in the first Avengers by putting in more Hawkeye and him more fleshed out. Then there is the new Avengers, Quicksilver, Scarletwich, and Vision, they are pretty cool in my opinion. Vision in particular is pretty amazing in all his scenes.

THE BAD:

The beginning of the film it's fine until towards the second act and there is when it starts to feel a little rushed. Also I do feel like there are scenes missing but there was talk of an extended version on Blu-Ray so that's cool.

One of the most boring exepirences from watching a movie

26 March 2017 by christopherfreeman

I can't right much... it's just so forgettable...Okay, from what I remember, I remember just sitting down on my seat and waiting for the movie to begin. 5 minutes into the movie, boring scene of Tony Stark just talking to his "dead" friends saying it's his fault. 10 minutes in: Boring scene of Ultron and Jarvis having robot space battles(I dunno:/). 15 minutes in: I leave the theatre.2nd attempt at watching it: I fall asleep. What woke me up is the next movie on Netflix when the movie was over.

Bottemline: It's boring...

10/10 because I'm a Marvel Fanboy

That spirit of fun

26 March 2017 by juliawest

If there were not an audience for Marvel comic heroes than clearly these films would not be made, to answer one other reviewer although I sympathize with him somewhat. The world is indeed an infinitely more complex place than the world of Marvel comics with clearly identifiable heroes and villains. But I get the feeling that from Robert Downey, Jr. on down the organizer and prime mover as Iron Man behind the Avengers these players do love doing these roles because it's a lot of fun. If they didn't show that spirit of fun to the audience than these films would never be made.

So in that spirit of fun Avengers: Age Of Ultron comes before us and everyone looks like they're having a good time saving the world. A computer program got loose and took form in this dimension named Ultron and James Spader who is completely unrecognizable is running amuck in the earth. No doubt Star Trek fans took notice that this guy's mission is to cleanse the earth much like that old earth probe NOMAD which got its programming mixed up in that classic Star Trek prime story. Wouldst Captain James T. Kirk of the Enterprise had a crew like Downey has at his command.

My favorite is always Chris Evans because of the whole cast he best gets into the spirit of being a superhero. Of all of them, he's already played two superheroes, Captain America and Johnny Storm the Human Torch. I'll be before he's done Evans will play a couple of more as long as the money's good and he enjoys it.

Pretend you're a kid again and enjoy, don't take it so seriously.

Impressive Special Effects and Cast

26 March 2017 by johnnylee

The Avengers raid a Hydra base in Sokovia commanded by Strucker and they retrieve Loki's scepter. They also discover that Strucker had been conducting experiments with the orphan twins Pietro Maximoff (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), who has super speed, and Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olsen), who can control minds and project energy. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) discovers an Artificial Intelligence in the scepter and convinces Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) to secretly help him to transfer the A.I. to his Ultron defense system. However, the Ultron understands that is necessary to annihilate mankind to save the planet, attacks the Avengers and flees to Sokovia with the scepter. He builds an armature for self-protection and robots for his army and teams up with the twins. The Avengers go to Clinton Barton's house to recover, but out of the blue, Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) arrives and convinces them to fight against Ultron. Will they succeed?

"Avengers: Age of Ultron" is an entertaining adventure with impressive special effects and cast. The storyline might be better, since most of the characters do not show any chemistry. However, it is worthwhile watching this film since the amazing special effects are not possible to be described in words. Why Pietro has to die is also not possible to be explained. My vote is eight.

Page 1 of 6:123456

Cast & crew of

The Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing

Directors & Credit Writers

Cast

Philomenia

Maiden #2

Similair Movies To

The Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing

Found 20 movies in total

EuroTrip (2004)

6.6 /10

When Scott learns that his longtime cyber-buddy from Berlin is a gorgeous young woman, he and his friends embark on a trip across Europe.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2004-02-20

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

5.6 /10

Blonde, bouncy Buffy is your typical high school cheerleader. But all that changes when a strange man informs her she's been chosen by fate to kill vampires.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1992-07-24

From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter (2000)

4.913 /10

Narrowly escaping death, outlaw Johnny Madrid goes on the run with the hangman's sensuous daughter Esmeralda by his side.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2000-01-18

Porky's (1981)

6.408 /10

In 1954 Florida, a group of high school boys head to a strip club in the Everglades in an attempt to lose their collective virginity. When the club's owner and his sheriff brother swindle them out of their money and embarrass them, the boys plan revenge.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1981-11-13

Metamorphosis (2007)

4.37 /10

In the Seventeenth Century, while Hungary is fighting the Turks, the population of a small village in the Carpathian Mountains faces the evil Countess Elizabeth Bathory, accused of drinking and bathing in blood of virgin women.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2007-01-01

Tamara (2005)

5.254 /10

Tamara, an unattractive girl who is picked on by her peers, returns after her death as a sexy seductress to enact revenge.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2005-05-12

La Grande Bouffe (1973)

7.1 /10

Four friends gather at a villa with the intention of eating themselves to death.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1973-05-16

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)

7.113 /10

Con artist Lawrence Jamieson is a longtime resident of a luxurious coastal resort, where he enjoys the lavish fruits of his deceptions -- that is, until a competitor, Freddy Benson, shows up. When the new guy's lowbrow tactics impinge on his own sophisticated work and believing him to be the infamous conman 'The Jackal', Lawrence resolves to get rid of him. Confident of his own duplicitous talents, he challenges Freddy to a winner-takes-all competition: whoever swindles their latest mark, American heiress Janet Colgate, out of $50,000 first can stay, while the other must leave town.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1988-12-14

Good Luck Chuck (2007)

5.9 /10

Cursed since childhood, dentist Charlie Logan cannot find the right woman. Even worse, he learns that each of his ex-girlfriends finds true love with the man she meets after her relationship with him ends. Hearing of Charlie's reputation as a good-luck charm, women from all over line up for a quick tryst. But when Charlie meets the woman of his dreams, he must find a way to break the curse or risk losing her to the next man she meets.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2007-09-21

Monster X (2017)

5 /10

Two friends hide in an old theater to escape ravenous hordes of vampires, zombies and werewolves.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2017-03-01

Fast and Sexy (1958)

5.321 /10

A beautiful, wealthy widow leaves New York to find herself a husband in the Italian village in which she was born. After many tries she...chooses the village blacksmith.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1958-04-18

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

7.318 /10

In the deep south during the 1930s, three escaped convicts search for hidden treasure while a relentless lawman pursues them.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2000-08-30

Dracula (1931)

7.159 /10

A British estate agent travels to Transylvania to meet the mysterious Count Dracula, who is interested in leasing a London castle. After Dracula enslaves the agent and drives him to insanity, the pair return to London together, where Dracula, a secret bloodsucker, begins preying on socialites.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1931-02-12

Darna (1991)

0 /10

A girl is granted a magical stone by an angel to become the superheroine Darna to combat evil and would later battle Valentina, her future nemesis.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1991-12-25

The Ups and Downs of a Handyman (1976)

3.9 /10

A young handyman and his wife move to a small village and set up business. There, the handyman encounters numerous strange characters, including a local constable more inept than a squad car full of Keystone Kops; an elderly magistrate whose primary passion is spanking young women; a schoolmistress with a closetful of kinks; and more predatory housewives than the young man can handle.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1976-10-31

Blood + Roses (2010)

0.5 /10

A couple head to a remote cottage, where the wife falls under the spell of a mysterious vampire, who starts a painful and horrifying transformation in her.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2010-09-04

Blood: The Last Vampire (2000)

6.842 /10

In Japan, the vampire-hunter Saya, who is a powerful original, is sent by her liaison with the government, David, posed as a teenage student to the Yokota High School on the eve of Halloween to hunt down vampires. Saya asks David to give a new katana to her. Soon she saves the school nurse Makiho Amano from two vampires disguised of classmates and Makiho witnesses her fight against the powerful demon.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2000-11-18

The Scary Movie (1993)

6.6 /10

Martina and Sonja, cross-dress in vampire capes and werewolf claws, re-enacting familiar horror tropes. A corresponding soundtrack of stock screams and "scary" music suggests that the girls' toying with gender roles and power dynamics may have dire consequences.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1993-01-01

The Erotic Ghost (2001)

3.8 /10

Self-absorbed and stressed-out yuppie Robert is so caught up with his thankless office job that he neglects his lovely young wife Doris. The sad, unhappy, and frustrated Doris seeks some form of relief and sexual fulfillment from both a lusty lady ghost and two equally voracious female demons.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 2001-01-01

Titanic 2000 (1999)

2.9 /10

The luxury liner Titanic 2000 has set sail on its maiden voyage, and one of the passengers is the vampire Vladamina. Vladamina is searching for a woman she can turn into a vampire queen, and frustrated rock groupie Shari looks to be a perfect target. As various people get seduced and/or killed as the liner continues on its doomed voyage, Shari must chose between eternity as a living dead sex slave or a frigid grave at the bottom of the ocean.

Runtime: MMPA: PG-13 Release: 1999-01-01

Page 1 of 2:12